Grumpy’s Dementia Journey.. No more parts just a journey!

It’s hard to keep up with blogging with work, being a mum and trying to do the bit I can to keep mums spirits up, all be it via Alexa Show¬†.¬† No longer will I be saying what Part the blog is. I will just write and hope someone will read and it may help or at least it may make you feel you are not alone.

Previously I have mentioned Grumpy and his hospital visits, well we have lost count as a family on how many different visits he has had as an in-patient and sadly many of the times we have been left flabbergasted on the lack of understanding after each of the stays.

I feel he has had one ward where we felt all his needs were taken care of and meant mum could relax a little. However, on a recent visit for a routine procedure Grumpy ended up having to stay in and I know I talk about Grumpy’s journey but my mothers journey has also been incredible both positively and negatively. On this stay the ward left my father sat in his disposable pants (with a continence pad on) and a vest in a ward with 5 other people at visiting time. My mum walked into see him sat there with no dignity being met at all. Very distressing to see I can imagine. As she walked in he begged for the toilet (he had had something to clear him out for a procedure), mum went to get help as that’s what they said she had to do. She went to the desk where they were all sitting and the head nurse said press the bell then someone will come. So she had to walk back to the bedside press the bell. Eventually someone came and her word were ‘you can’t possibly need to go again I just took you” (remember he had something to make him go). Clearly he need to go.

This ward we knew was not good as he had been on before but this time the care was worse (don’t get me wrong as a family we value the NHS). Its was also, found out that they had not given him 2 of his medications (both controlled drugs) even though his prescription was clear etc, however, initially mum did not know this. It wasn’t until the next day she visited that he would not wake up the man opposite said he hadn’t eaten (grumpy is a diabetic) and he hasn’t moved. Sheer fear set in mum said and they tried to wake him. He didn’t wake until the doctor came and said he can go home. Mum debated this and the doctors words were to wake dad up and then say ‘well there is something wrong but not sure what so we will give him antibiotics’. Mum at this point knew she had to take him home and as they came with the discharge record that is when mum went up to the doctor and said ‘I know whats wrong with him, he is in withdrawal because you failed to give him these 2 medication’. There is more like the medication not been locked away on his bedside (bag of them) with controlled drugs in.

The journey my mother has had is that she decided enough was enough and I supported her to raise concern with CQC and then CQC said it was safeguarding so we went to the local council and logged a safeguard. Mum goes Thursday to make sure they think in future but also to understand how they initially tried to justify things.

This is a part of the journey mum could have actually done without. This shouldn’t be necessary and so even though this is rather negative post what I want to say is that it is important to speak up. You must be empowered to say NO. You must be the voice of the person you care for sometimes. It’s time people stood up and shouted that we expect more we don’t expect bells and whistles we just expect Care, Compassion, Competence, Courage, Communication and Commitment¬†

Dad has been well since the visit mum got him home and got him back into his routine. Don’t get me wrong his dementia is progressing and mum has had some really exhausting times which I will write about but firstly I need to check she will be happy for me to share some of the journey as it’s very personal.

Hope you enjoyed reading.