Wishing that sometimes We didn’t know what We know!!

Decided that sometimes knowledge of something can make you know too much.

I am sure this sounds like I have possibly lost the plot but I have worked in care for 30 years. Supporting people to develop skills, keep skills and to be cared for through the end of life process.

Some people would think knowing information or knowing what’s to come is a good thing. However, not always as at the moment it isn’t. Knowing the progression within Dementia and knowing the end of life process means, I know what my dad is possibly going to go through. As a trainer in social care I stand each month and teach about dementia awareness which has an impact on me as I am actually talking about what might happen to my dad, over and over (I love my job but it can be hard when going through something).

Knowledge and experience

As my dad progresses through the dementia journey I struggle to get those images out of my head of people I have met, cared for through this incredibly harsh disease. I see the people screaming as they are being cared for and shouting for mum because they have forgot the reality they are in. I see the progress of having to assist the person to eat with a puréed diet because there swallow has been effected. I also see the families broken and frightened of who they now, don’t really know. I see the daughter visiting their mother but she no longer remembers being a mother. I have also been lucky enough to be with people at their end of life and know what it can be like sometimes I wish I did know as I am sure others wish they didn’t know.

My reality at the moment is wishing I didn’t know wishing I was being told by a professional at each stage rather already knowing quite a lot all at once so I know the possible end journey.

Just a family member

We forget that people who work in care or in the caring profession whether a doctor, nurse or care worker that they will have loved ones who may be suffering from a condition. But just because they have the knowledge they are not a doctor, nurse or carer when we are talking about a family member they are just a daughter, son, husband, mother etc. They too will be on the journey and even though they can’t forget what they have learnt or seen they will wish they could for a day so they can be just like everyone else and be the daughter, son etc.

Dementia is a journey for all. Just remember to enjoy the good days and role with the punches on the not so good days. Do what you can and just love each other.

Take care all.

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2 thoughts on “Wishing that sometimes We didn’t know what We know!!

  1. wow so well written and I see your point , you can not shake off what you have seen or know like a shawl just to be a daughter sister mother etc for awhile. Torn between reality and what you would like to be a good end x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You are so right, since my dad developed Dementia, I have met and talked to a lot of people who have been in similar circumstances and situations, including the health professionals and it’s thanks to people like yourself, that we understand how Dementia progresses and can affect people in many different ways and how best to deal with it. I think I have taken comfort from this as at least I have known that what my dad was doing was all part of the progression of the disease, he couldn’t help it and it helped me accept and deal with it better. I always knew I had a lot of patience, but I thought I had lost it as I got older, but it soon came back. I learnt to accept the inevitable, to accept the repetition and to be calm and patient with my dad and with the other residents in my dads care home.

    I thank everyone who is involved in the caring profession, without them it could be a lonely and overwhelming place to be, but with their experience, knowledge and care we get through it, stronger and with a lot more understanding. Thank you, my thoughts are with you. Lx

    Liked by 1 person

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