Life of a trainer

It’s a trainers life for me

Instilling knowledge for a fee

Smiling and passionate

Positive and spirited

Frustrated and concerned

Worried and perturbed

Its a trainers life for me

Not perfect or done with perfection

But there to teach and engage

There to smile and show passion

There to nurture potential and share

Its a trainers life for me

To live in realities and know the barriers

To be honest, open and transparent

To take off the rose coloured glasses

To let the carers know I have been there

I know the life and have lived the life

The need to adapt and change some minds

The aim remind carers to be kind

To ensure the most vulnerable people get what care they need

It’s a trainers life for me

Sharing, caring and valuing

Reminded that carers should be valued and respected

That carers need to understand there will be the unexpected

The shift of a day

The shout of a voice

The scream in pain

The upset of fear

The unpredictable events

The journey they will be part of will not be a straight road

The road will have twists and turns

Some harder then others and some tricky with an up hill incline

The everyday tasks to the most poignant

of moments

The tears of success the tears of loss

Its a trainers life for me

Reminding you carers you don’t just wash and wipe a body

You comfort, care, enable and listen

You wipe away tears and encourage belly laughs

You are not just encouraging existence, you are enabling living

Carers you make me do the job I do and I choose the trainer life for me.

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Loss and what you can expect!

Loss is such a unique experience for each person.

Sometimes we hear the news and immediately scream with sadness. Sometimes we start moving at hyper speed and make all the calls to inform people. Sometimes we are at a standstill, with no actually understanding what has just been relayed to us.

It’s unique. Unique to every person.

One thing I know, is that no-one can tell you how to feel or how you should be feeling. They can’t tell you to stop feeling or feel more. It is something that must happen when and as it wants. It must be organic.

Sometimes, you might feel the need to put on a façade. Sometimes you may hold back those feelings, simply because you don’t have the capacity to deal with them. Sometimes, loss brings anger – and that anger may have to be withheld.

Loss has a way of placing you in a state of turmoil, a turmoil that flits from one emotion to another within seconds. All I know is you can’t fully control it. It doesn’t run on a timeline, it doesn’t know how to fit into your life and come at the best time – purely because, well, there is no good time for it. That’s why, some people struggle more, some struggle less and some pretend. Many people are already dealing with struggles of their own and when loss appears, it makes it hard to see the wood for the trees.

I have recently been through a loss. Grumpy (my father) who I have spoken about before died 3rd April 2019. He had Alzheimer’s and in truth, I feel we commenced grieving from the day of his diagnosis.

I did not get back home to him in time. Suffice to say, this has affected me immensely. I feel regret.

I wish I could have seen his face one more time, I wanted to hold his hand one more time, I wanted to feel his love one more time. This is a comfort I wanted to give myself. A comfort I think I deserved. It’s not selfish to want this for myself; it is normal. I wanted to say, bye dad, see you later or just plain old love you dad.

I will get through this and I will continue to live the best life I can, but it may be be a little tarnished for a while. Perhaps forever, but that’s okay because at least I am feeling.

What I take from the loss of Grumpy is that in death, there is life. Great good can come from intense sadness and loss and this is exactly what I feel with the loss of my father. Grumpy chose to have his body donated to medical science and my mother tirelessly worked to ensure he got his wish. He could be the bridge between life and death for future generations. He could help scientists find more information about Alzheimer’s to lead them that step close to a cure. Ultimately,I wish he was still here, but only here at his best, at his strongest and at his happiest. I wish he was here to tell us we will be okay, even though I already know we will be. His comfort and huge presence will be missed more than words can explain. This has emphasised a fact I always knew to be true – making memories is the most important thing. So, please, everyone, make them and cherish them. Don’t waste a moment. Memories remain and pain disperses.

Don’t worry about how you feel. Just feel what you feel.

Wishing that sometimes We didn’t know what We know!!

Decided that sometimes knowledge of something can make you know too much.

I am sure this sounds like I have possibly lost the plot but I have worked in care for 30 years. Supporting people to develop skills, keep skills and to be cared for through the end of life process.

Some people would think knowing information or knowing what’s to come is a good thing. However, not always as at the moment it isn’t. Knowing the progression within Dementia and knowing the end of life process means, I know what my dad is possibly going to go through. As a trainer in social care I stand each month and teach about dementia awareness which has an impact on me as I am actually talking about what might happen to my dad, over and over (I love my job but it can be hard when going through something).

Knowledge and experience

As my dad progresses through the dementia journey I struggle to get those images out of my head of people I have met, cared for through this incredibly harsh disease. I see the people screaming as they are being cared for and shouting for mum because they have forgot the reality they are in. I see the progress of having to assist the person to eat with a puréed diet because there swallow has been effected. I also see the families broken and frightened of who they now, don’t really know. I see the daughter visiting their mother but she no longer remembers being a mother. I have also been lucky enough to be with people at their end of life and know what it can be like sometimes I wish I did know as I am sure others wish they didn’t know.

My reality at the moment is wishing I didn’t know wishing I was being told by a professional at each stage rather already knowing quite a lot all at once so I know the possible end journey.

Just a family member

We forget that people who work in care or in the caring profession whether a doctor, nurse or care worker that they will have loved ones who may be suffering from a condition. But just because they have the knowledge they are not a doctor, nurse or carer when we are talking about a family member they are just a daughter, son, husband, mother etc. They too will be on the journey and even though they can’t forget what they have learnt or seen they will wish they could for a day so they can be just like everyone else and be the daughter, son etc.

Dementia is a journey for all. Just remember to enjoy the good days and role with the punches on the not so good days. Do what you can and just love each other.

Take care all.

What gets people to read?

What gets people to read is my question today?

I am thinking of what makes me read something and I am struggling to know what. Here are some of what gets me to read:

  • the intrigue that gets me looking further, the expectation that it’s going to be a SURPRISE!
  • the title that gives me a question to be answered and only can be answered if I continue to read.
  • the expectation of what something is going teach me
  • the fear if I don’t read I will miss out on something that can help me
  • the assumption that I know what something is going to include so I make an informed choice
  • the lack of understanding of a title so it’s a MUST read to see if it’s really what it says on the tin (title)
  • I also like a title that may hold a conspiracy theory
  • lastly I choose if I think I may have an opinion of the topic, if it’s near to my passion.

These are some of the reasons I read certain things and not others. What are your reasons you read articles, posts, tweets or books?

 

Social Care and the NHS…

For the last few days I have been ‘tweeting’ I am new to this and just wanted to be more pro-active. I have had a good time just commenting and retweeting tweets until today. I know social media is known as a bit of a harsh place to be at times. However, being part of the care industry and training both nurses and carers I think it is important to be fair when posting about social care and the NHS. I made a comment that it is not only social care that has the poor care but so does the NHS and the response from a particular person was rather harsh. Telling me that NHS is superior and telling me ALL social care providers are rotten (not word for word but that the tone of the comments).

I am not disrespecting the NHS I am grateful for it but when will people understand bad care happens in the NHS to. We as a family have witness this on a number of occasions (not just once). It seems everyone is quick to speak negatively about social care both home care and care homes. Don’t get me wrong I have been honest about our experience with home care also but lets ensure we are not constantly thinking the NHS is superior to everything. It has it’s faults as does social care.

Social care is so devalued and until we value it more we will always have people saying all social care providers are bad and all NHS is superior.

There are many things wrong and one of the things wrong is providers not being held responsible or monitored properly by local authorities. Recruitment of managers, recruitment of care workers not appropriately done. However, the issues are similar within the NHS as well and we should not forget this. The lack of monitoring of how a ward is run as I just don’t get that in the same hospital wards can be so different.

We must push care/nursing/healthcare as a chosen career so we need to show that society and politicians value it . Time we pushed the best practice that is out there, time we were more constructive with our concerns, time to be a solution so if you have a concern do speak up regardless of whether it’s the NHS or not.  Local authorities and CQC time to really understand that one persons experience is important to check out. Time we had zero tolerance of poor practice and care. We have the 6 C’s lets make sure they are followed. Stop thinking all are bad there are so many good providers, hospitals, carers/nurses out there. Stop tarring all with the same brush.

I don’t expect all to agree and I don’t mind if you disagree but once I replied to comments today the person sent me a very harsh reply and placed a screen shot of may profile up. It felt like I was being bullied into shutting up. Sadly my confidence on social media is still not up there so I deleted and blocked the person. I am not about airing my laundry in public. I am about being fair. I am about voicing an opinion. I am about learning from others. I will continue of Twitter but it has left an uncomfortable taste in my mouth of how people can be. Kindness and respect cost nothing.

Dad (AKA grumpy) Our families Dementia journey

Lets look back:

2017 Journey begins and diagnosis……….Mum had seen a number of changes within grumpy which made her concerned regarding his memory. The issue we have is that grumpy has multiple conditions and as many people know some can mirror Dementia Symptoms and also the medication he takes could have had an impact. However, mum had to make an appointment for dad at his local GP to talk about some of his conditions and at that appointment she raised her concern. She wasn’t sure she would raise it as she was worried about Grumpy’s reaction. However, Grumpy also said he had noticed things that he was worried about.

The doctor on this visit was one of the ‘good ones’ (sadly the surgery isn’t that good). So there and then the GP commenced the initial testing. Which went similar to this:

  • name and address was given to him at the start.
  • asked him to count backwards from 20
  • asked him to say the months of the years backwards
  • showed him a selection of pictures and one of the was a crown and he asked which picture related to the royal family.
  • He then asked him to tell him the name and the address that he had given to him at the start.

On speaking to mum after she said for some he did well, he did remember some of the address and name, he was able to get half way counting and for the months. However, he struggled with the picture question and could not explain the crown being part of the royal family.

The doctor then said he has some markers that could mean he needs further testing and that he would refer to the ‘Memory team’ (what it says on the tin I suppose).  He also asked for medication review, and full round of bloods to rule out any other condition that could mimic Dementia.

Grumpy went along to the memory team with mum and sister Joanna which is really important to have as many people as you can that knows them. As we also see different changes which helps the professionals to see the bigger picture. He was also sent for a CT scan.

During the months that followed dad fell unwell, had a number of TIA (mini strokes), post stroke seizures, bouts of infections which meant lots of trips to the hospital (not always a positive experience). Not having a definite diagnosis was hard as the hospital did not meet his needs at the time and a lot of this was down to not having it in black and white. I felt they dismissed us which added even more pressure.

I am going to continue to write about Dad’s journey. This is just the beginning 2017 was a hard year. I am aware it is not over and that 2018……….onwards is going to have more hard times.

A few things to note:

  • keep notes if you notice changes
  • during the investigations do not forget to breathe
  • once diagnosis comes do not think life is over there and then
  • know that dementia is a terminal illness and this can be something we need to support people understanding
  • a diagnosis does not mean someone does not have capacity understand so remember how they feel about the diagnosis
  • depression is a common reaction
  • compassion and empathy will help you to support someone.
  • plan for the future
  • before diagnosis consider Lasting Power of attorney for health and wellbeing (only comes in to action when the person loses capacity).

 

Will be back with more experiences and progression within Grumpy’s journey.

By the way ‘Grumpy’ is a term of endearment that all his grandchildren use (because he is grumpy but it a loving way).

 

Blog or not to blog does the swearing and risky blogs get more traffic?

Starting to lose the motivation to blog. 

I don’t seem to have the traffic, or the readers interest in what I have to say and let’s be honest we blog, so people see what we have to say (bit of self-pity). I have been trying to think of what I really want to say, being self-employed and needing to have a positive reputation I hold back a little on what I want to really say. Should I hold back? Will this really affect me gaining more work?

Sometimes I want to shout out about the amazing work Carers do, I want to also scream when there are diabolical care stories of abuse to people because of others. I don’t want to be all diplomatic. I want to say it how it is, I want to say care is bloody hard. It’s not a ‘fits all job’. I want to say you will get stressed and you will go through the saddest of times in your role and you will cry, scream, laugh and just hold your breath.

However, I want you to know I have stayed within Care industry for 30 years and I would not swap it for another industry. There is so much I could swear about, and I want to. I want you to know how passionate about care I really am. I want you to know how much I am desperate to value care and carers – both paid and unpaid. When I think about the stuff I want to say it fills me with frustration that I hold back.

More things I want to say are:

Hey, you lot in the government get a grip, wake up. Social care needs you to take it seriously. We may not be the NHS, but we do a bloody hard job and work as hard as the NHS staff. We need more visibility that is what is missing.

Other parties hope to get our votes, but you don’t seem to want to get it right. Don’t promise us the world when it cannot be given, don’t lie to get our vote, don’t say you can if you can’t. Talk to us on the front line, talk to those who do the most intimate care for the most vulnerable people within society.

You out there – the one who thinks think you can treat people badly, stop it right now stop being cruel, unkind. Stop abusing our most vulnerable. Stop what you’re doing right now and think. Think about that being someone you care about. If you can’t then go work elsewhere – do not work in care and do not think we will put up with your practice.

Inspectors – look beyond the chatter that some companies front with, the chatter that keeps you from looking at what is really going on. Take notice of the concerns and make sure you start asking the right questions. Know that sometimes you get it wrong and we know that, but please do not constantly get it wrong.

On a personal note just for the care workers who are supposed to support my Dad, take of your coat, do not talk to your colleague over my dad, do not moan about your company and do not forget to put your gloves and aprons on. Think about what my dad needs and wants. Do not think about your next call and the lack of time to get to it – that is not my Dad’s fault. You have lost my respect and I am disappointed that you are called carers. Don’t bother coming to work if you cannot provide good care and support.

However, the poor care both in hospital and at home my Dad has had doesn’t mean I am turning my back on promoting care. I still value all the other people within care that do an amazing job. So finally thank you to all you that do a GOOD  job who do give up their time and sometimes time that is unpaid.

Just a quick blog Dementia related

Important part of being a trainer is to keep your self up to date, refreshed and competent in what you train so at the moment I am doing a free course within Dementia. Its not advanced training its getting back to the basics and updating on my understanding. As part of the course there I have just watch a video from Terry Pratchett. He was talking about the difference in getting a diagnosis of cancer compared to dementia (both horrid). He made a point that people when diagnosis with cancer with be given hope or feel there is still hope but for someone diagnoses with Dementia there is no hope of recovery (at this point in time) and therefore he felt he was very alone with his diagnosis as everyone knows hope isn’t something that comes into it.

However, he still wrote best sellers and was focused on  living well with Dementia. 

I am enjoying the course it is simple and when I finish I will gain a certificate and I am already feeling I am being reminded of things to consider but also how important it is to not have one size fits all approach. Its something I teach a little of but I am now going to ensure it plays a bigger part in my training.

The course I am doing is from the university of Tasmania I have shared previously on my FB page. This is not a recommendation as for some it will not fit their learning style but hey check it out. Free learning is important and CPD can only support you with what ever you do in life. You don’t even have to be working in care, or medical field to do this course. Knowing about Dementia is important for all.

Check the links out you may find them helpful

 

Care/Career

Blogging does not seem to come overly natural to me but I still want to promote care and promote discussion/debate. I feel the need to ensure people realise that care work is valued and should be a chosen career .

In the about me I talk about my career within the care field but I feel my caring commenced long before I got a job in care. I was always looking for someone to look after even as a child. It was who I was, I remember being asked at 14 in school about what I wished to do when ‘I grow up’ (not sure I have grown up yet). My response even then was not met with encouragement as I said I want to be a social worker or a probation officer (none of which I am ). Thing is I was not overly academic as you may notice with my poor grammar (apologies). So I wasn’t encouraged I don’t believe.

However when it came to work experience I was sent to the care home next door to where I lived.  I can still remember my first day as a 15 year old going in to the home, I remember even then the home had an odour that should have been dealt with, there was not as many safety protocols in place and inspections that there are now (or maybe there was but just not followed). I was asked during this work experience to support someone to the toilet, it was a man who was around 80 I  was left to take him to the toilet on my own. I was terrified but I knew instinctively that I could not allow him to feel he was a burden and that I was nervous.  I knew I had to pretend it was OK, I got on with it and can still remember the first sight of a man naked from waste down. However, it didn’t stop me from deciding to do some kind of care work. What it did make me realise is that I would never do what this home did, I would never leave someone inexperienced, untrained to do such intimate support.

Care I think was a natural career for me to choose, I liked listening and giving advice to people I met who were going through difficult times, I liked babysitting, I enjoyed just helping I felt I was achieving something each time I was able to help.

Once I completed school I went to college, I was interviewed for the course ‘Preliminary Certificate in Social Care’ the tutor a glamorous lady asked me what I wanted to do and at that moment I said ‘until I do the course I don’t think I fully know’. Mum had come with me and she said to my mum ‘that was one of the most grown up answers I’ve heard’.

I went through 2 years at college (interesting time) completed GCSE and gained some good grades. I knew then I still wanted to try to become a social carer. I applied for a number of jobs in all different areas (none of them near home). I eventually got a job at a company in Cambridge working with people with Learning difficulties. It was the first step in a career that now spans 30 years. Care is a career it really is and its worth doing.

My career in care has been interesting, colourful, noisy, hard, scary, sad but mainly has been my choice it has been my passion. I want more people to know that it’s one of the best but hardest jobs you can do. It’s not valued like it should be and certainly the pay is not the best but its a career it really is. I would still choose this career all over again.

My journey to where I am now:

Support worker

Senior support worker

Deputy manager

Registered Manager

Trainer Assessor

Regional Manager of Training provider

To Self Employed in House Trainer (this was my goal and I have been lucky to achieve). 

So I will continue to try and blog about care, my family, my dad (AKA Grumpy). I will continue to highlight the good that is out there within care. I will also share when there is not so good care but will hopefully remind people that we can make it good.

Its a quick blog today to try to get myself back to it. I had 5 draft blogs that I have deleted that never came to the page. I now have added 2 more drafts but luckily today I have at least published one. If you are reading this please comment, share, add what you believe care means to you. Most of all if your reading this and you are thinking of a career and have the attributes to be part of care then feel free to check out some of the links.

 

Attention to Care the Aim

Morning everyone, another week in the life of Attention to Care.  After posting about recruitment and retention of staff within care I decided to just write a little more about Attention to Care and what my aim is.

Attention to care as I mentioned in previous post is my own company which is not LTD at this point in time I am just a sole trader. I set it up as I lost a little faith in being employed by others. I felt I lacked control in my life and I was losing who I was, which then meant I lost a little of what I was aiming to achieve. Care has been my life since I was 16 I went to college and did a qualification called Preliminary Certificate in Social Care. It was a good course that then gained me a job within Cambridgeshire Mencap where I worked on and off for 23 years. I then as previously explained went on to Assessing and training. I felt the needed to try and give others the opportunity to learn and develop to then progress. (sorry digressing)

I worked for a number of years with 2 large training providers and learnt a lot but also learnt that there is a push for bums on seats not on quality. Sadly this is true and the fact that we talk about individual learning as far as my experience was there was not individual learning just generic. I ended up having a full break for 6 months and then went to a college (not the best decision) realising that it was really not for me I need a new challenge so luckily I kept in touch with a colleague (friend) and he got me some freelance work as an assessor. 2 years later still dabble in assessing have now about 9 learners. However, my main goal is to build the training in house at care companies which I am loving. I can show my passion and be honest with people about care and all its wonderful colours and sounds.

Attention to Care was set up last year and the aim of Attention to Care is to train in care companies but also to use Facebook to promote care in general. To give care a face, a visibility, a value. I do not wear rose coloured spectacles I know the reality within care and know when things go wrong they can go gravely wrong. However, I know how great care can be across all companies. I can meet people who are amazing, who value people who promote fully the 6 C’s (care, compassion, commitment, courage, communication and competency) people that wants to make some difference whether that is leaving a person with a smile after they have supported them or supported someone to be independent.

So if we commence sharing the good stories and valuing the care staff and management then I am sure we can commencing fixing a system that seems a little broken at the moment. If I can be part of that fix then the aim of Attention to Care will have been fulfilled. Its not a lot to ask that we look at care and what people do on a daily basis to support our most vulnerable in society. If we look at the value it has for those that are being cared for then we can see how vital it is to do something to make it what it needs to be. Care needs to have a value, it needs to be about a career choice it needs to be a first choice in options for our children (not a throw away subject).

So the more I spout off , communicate and just generally speak up then hopefully someone will read and help me with the aim then share and like. That’s the aim to show care as something worthwhile.

So if like a soap box, bandwagon or just generally like sound of own voice (Like me) then please read, like, comment and share. Join a community to value care.