January is Over

Well what has January done for us lately? Well, business was good and looks like its taking us into February positively.

However, Grumpy saga’s still continue (reminder grumpy is my father) he has had 3 admissions to the hospital and another 3 discharge letters that are unhelpful, not clear and sadly the last one not factual. How is it someone goes into hospital for one thing and comes out with something else and really not seeming any better well in fact potentially worse? With the discharge letter leaving out vital information for the GP.

This time for my mother the experiene was distressing with a Doctor shouting at her and a Nurse (head nurse I believe) being rude, snappy and unhelful to my mother unless oddly if others were there. With the lack of understanding within Dementia and the need for my mother to be there to help so as my father does not get distressed. I don’t understand this and I clearly did not see any understanding of his needs both physically and emotionally.  What fustrates me is we have completed a THIS IS ME write up to tell them about how he is, his history, his needs, his capabilities but I am not even sure they bothered reading it.

Of course on looking at the CQC report I am not surprised the hospital is inadequate and the fact that it took me to tell them to place a fluid chart in place before they did.

So why am I writing this and not naming and shaming well thats because my mother would not like that as she is very much appreciative of the NHS and of the hard work some do but also there is no point as it seems not even CQC have responded to a complaint  I put in. I am therefore writing it for me. I am writing to just show that we need to try to speak up get a voice and say no to poor practice, poor empathy from people who should know better. I am writing because I want to know when Grumpy has to go back in that I know he is having the best care they can possibly give and that they consider my mother and emotional wellbeing.
What this hospital lack or at least now 2 of the 3 wards my father was on are the 6c’s which are:







These a key principles not hard, nothing you need to be taught really, things that we should expect and things I remind people of when I do in house training.

So where are we now with grumpy, well he is home. mother is managing and is doing as always and amazing job. Best put that she would do better if the council came and got a bed that has been stood in her garden for nearly 2 months. 

Mother his helped by some (what should I call?)  gentle jibes through the facebook group Grumpy’s groupies. It have got worse by the way with the content to bad that I can not screenshot much of it. This group continues to do its job of light relief and offloading. Its important to know when you need to be serious and when you can just show how nuts you are as that is what this group is about. ‘Its not all about Grumpy’. It has to be about our mum, our grandma it has to be to ensure she is kept up beat in times of adversity.

So bravely I share some of the content.

As you can see its so wrong but for my mother it is so right its her place and she gains so much as do we. Try it. Caring is hard butcan be made easier with the right support and right dose of nuttiness.


Hey feel free to share you groups. Smiling and laughing is important. Take care of each other, speak up and be the persons voice and know your rights.


Book time

Been thinking about this for a while and as some of you may know Pull up a chair and lets talk care comes from an ambition of mine to write a book inspired by my beautiful friend Valerie who died just over 12 year ago. I did do some initial writing for the book but then found it to be not the right time.

However, in bed last night I was thinking about my Mother and Father (grumpy) and how things have been rather hectic, challenging, upsetting and just exhausting for all. My thoughts led to me think of how our family and the young children and how we are all going to be seeing Grumpy change and how this maybe distressing at times.

So firstly I thought as an adult I will be able to research and look up what the process maybe for some with Dementia but the chidren may need something more simple and real to allow them to digest the changes in a different way. There are lots of books out their for children but I want it to be personal for them. So, I have actually commenced writing a potential children’s book. I know where did that come from?

I sat on my phone in the notes section and commenced thinking of what I would want them to know and how to place a positive on the changes.

So all just watch this space this may be something I just do for my family. My daughter Lauren is also going to be part of the writing process (she is so much more articulate in her words and also she is a great proof reader).

Hey what is there to lose apart from time of course but I have that so ideal time to have a go.

Be ready and I hope that I do it. I will keep you updated.


How’s it been?

It’s a question I ask without not quite knowing the answer. Christmas came and went and now we approach the dawning of a new year. But how has 2017 been.

Well it’s had lots of rollercoaster moments which have tested my strength and other people’s strength. In the world at present things are just confusing and challenging. Not that I am going to get into politics but some decisions have been astounding and damn right wrong.

Personally I have gone through an array of emotions but I value everyone one of them as it’s me, it’s what makes me me. My family have had some trying time with my fathers health and the worry that brings, a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and continuing health issues.

Then I big high occurred I got married to a wonderful man, had the most magical day and shared it with so many people. So as you can see the extreme of emotions have been vast.

There was so much more to this year, a new baby entered our family, we have a survivor of breast cancer in our family.

We have shared many laughs and lots of tears some tears have been happy, some have been with worry. What this year gave to all of us was more strength as we all got through it we have all grown knowing that futures can be unpredictable but if we join hands and go into the future together strong then we can overcome the rollercoaster of emotions. As when one falters another can pick us up or can take the reigns for a while. It’s not all about dealing with things alone it’s about knowing when you need help.

So I will now look at 2018 and focus of growing attention to care  I will look at the future and ensure I spend time appreciating things and time. So please look at our 2017 with a few days to go. I appreciate every person whether in these photos or not. There are people here that I see less but value so much. Just please enjoy the rogues gallery.


Colours and sounds of a Care worker :)

Part 2 will be coming but just need to ensure I have something interesting to share.

Attention to Care

PART 1 (not sure there is a part 2)

It came into my head tonight that there must be a tail or two that care workers could tell us that will shed light on the fun it can be  to be a care. Yes its a serious job (I am well aware), but if like me there has been some funny/amusing/amazing/extraordinary experiences that within care then maybe we should share. It’s just a thought. Of cause no identifiable information that would break ‘data protection’ or ‘confidentiality’ but stories that may bring a wry smile to your face or did bring a rye smile maybe even a loud laugh.

My first day as a support worker (18 just left home) gave me a shock, having a lady ask me outright if I had a Fanny and the proceeded to say I have ‘see’. Oh and yes she showed me. How I managed…

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What’s next, What can I do?

Today I am sat at home, waiting  to do some one to one session with learners (working from home), had appointments booked in but sadly not one completed at the moment and its gone 12:00 (tick tock). However, I have had an interesting call about a new idea for a support site and I am now questioning what I want to do next.

Don’t get me wrong assessing in general is a good job and it fits with my life but like today, I have not had a session completed, sadly people not picking up the phone, no work to mark so in some sense it becomes hard to ensure someone’s learning journey is consistent and meaningful. Commitment sometimes is lacking or schedules change in care and people just don’t let me know.

So I am now sat here thinking (cogs turning, head full).

My ultimate goal was to go into more training, motivational sessions to get people to buy into the care and how to be the best. I wanted to get a community talking about care but not sure how.

I see the best but some times not the so good (poor practice and care). I set up my Facebook page and this blog to try to get a community talking and sharing their stories but to be honest its not working. Have less then 100 likes on FB page which if you consider the amount of people in care that’s just nothing. Followers on word-press I have 21. Is this because I don’t use profanities, I do a blow by blow log of my day, is it because people just don’t talk about care or is it people in care just don’t have the time.

So where am I going wrong? What do I need to do?  Where do I go from here?


Good bye 2016. Hello 2017

I am sure there are going to be a lot of these predictable new years posts but it has to be done and it has to be done well.

So here goes:

2016 what did you give to me.

January you gave me a graduate as my gorgeous daughter graduated from Derby University. A very proud moment.jan

February was a quiet month but still but I got to sea seals on the beach in Norfolk with my wonderful friend ‘Kinky’ or Kate if you need her real name.

March was a busy time just getting out and about and meeting up with friends.The mask picture was a game of pin the cucumber on the hunk (you had to be there).

April was all about the gardening and family time. The big garden was commenced and a pop to Lowerstoft to see mum and dad.

May the gardening became a massive build or should I say demolition, poor Alan ended up on his back with me giggling. Love continued.

June was all about the queens birthday and a mission to try and get the community together which was not a great success but we had great time with the usual bunch of people.

July was about big weekend, time alone with Cameron in Norfolk, checking out the botanic gardens to see where we will have our wedding photos and then barbecue in the new look garden.

August was a trip to Scotland with some great friends who fell in love with the scenery. We had an amazing week,lucky with the weather and lovely place to stay. It was also the month when cucumbers and tomatoes grew beautifully.

September was a first for me going to my very first festival and then meeting Paddy of Emerdale. The parents visiting which was lovely and I got my heron photo. It was a good month. There was much sadness in September also which a number of my friends had to deal with and they dealt with their sadness with such dignity and strength.

October was a charity event time for breast cancer when planning it I was just thinking back at Valerie the real founder of the title to my blog but then how would I have known it would then be news that would be hard for all with my niece being diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a great night and every penny will count. I then had  a visit to bakewell with my lovely friend and her children.

November was a month where things were a little quieter but with a great night thrown in at Gin of the Rocks. Night at the museum and more gardening for Alan.


Now we come to December where we had the best time and the most fun just spending this month with family and friends. So no we have got to 31/12/16 a little poorly so no going out but what I do have is 2017 to look forward to and I can’t wait.

Good bye 2016 and welcome with bells on 2017. We have a wedding, more babies due and people to fight hard to ensure they get well. So positive vibes required and celebrations to be focused on.

Happiness, Health and Love I wish all.

Story of a Care worker

Care is amazing but hard please value the ones who do the job.

Over the years I have met so many care workers so great, exceptional, amazing, passionate, driven to provide the best of care and then the ones that are not all of the previous comments. Carers from all over the world who are committed to supporting our most vulnerable, yes I am not blinkered to the poor care out there but its getting better and we are more vocal at the poor care now.

So many experiences I have been lucky to have had,  from supporting independence to enabling someone to die at home with their loved ones. Every moment just as important as another.

I have been through the saddest of time and then the times that has been utter joy. Each experience has left a mark on me and has made me who I am today when I go and do assessing/training for people who work in care. I focus on my learning through experience and try to impart some experience on others. I am always passionate   about care because this is one of the most important industry you could work in.

I think back at times and remember by first day of walking into a Big House in the Village of Milton in Cambridge (Edmund House), it was an old building which would be classed as an institute but Mencap were working hard to alter the care/support for people. I came at a time that I was able to be part of that. Watching the development of a more independent and inclusive provision. I was 18 just finished college in Scunthorpe and thrown headlong into the world of care. IT WAS A MASSIVE LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE!!!

I have met along the way people who have made an impact on me some for the good and some for the wrong reasons. However, I love the care world, I have faith in the care world, regardless of society not respecting or noticing the hard work carers do. We pay the minimum wage to the people who are caring for our most vulnerable but they do it in spite of that.

I want to continue to try to value and get others to value care and therefore I may change my page to something more inclusive. I have not been able to have the impact I wanted and now it back to the drawing board to think about how I get care out there as a positive. I want a community who are not afraid to share their stories and to share the advice so time for change I think.

Care needs a voice and I may try to get it one.

So please come on and pull up a chair and talk about care. Talk about everything you want to. Open the can and lets not place the lid back on lets just share our experiences and stories that will make people smile and see the positives.

Scary times being OUT and as a definite IN I worry for care, training and all the people who care regardless of what country you are from you do a vital job.

Take this as a bloody big thank you from me. pooh

Simplicity of life🌧☔️💞💞

Tonight after feeling a little frustrated and low. I had a simplicistic moment that reminded me of being thankful and happy with what my life has become now. Sat in bed and the rain began to pour down. Watching the rain drops and listening to the rain whilst laid next to the man I love.

It was a gentle moment which initially I didn’t appreciate until Alan mentioned going out and sitting in the rain in the dark (something new for me) ☔️☔️☔️☔️☔️. So wrapped up in my dressing gown and Alan in his fleece we went outside. Alan prepared the brollie and we sat💞. Do you know what? It was lovely and very romantic. I sat, was held, kept close and dry by this man who has shown me how to look further and appreciate what is around me. The rain was lovely the droplets sliding down the brollie and the sound of pitter  patter. The dark sky’s just made you feel lost in a new world where we only existed just for that moment nothing mattered apart from that very moment. Lost in the sound but the imagination of being at loch Eck in the rain was beautiful. P1110133 (2)

Appreciating what I have is simple it’s not sweating the small stuff but looking at what’s there right there and right now.

Thank you for the new moment Alan you are my rock and remind me of the simple things in life.

Resolutions!! WHY and WHAT FOR

Why do people make resolutions what are they for? Is it to make them feel they have a plan of action or is it to make the world a better place?

I am always baffled by the making of a new years resolutions as surely when you break them you feel like you failed and this will surely do the opposite of what a resolution is made for.

As I see it instead of a resolution write a bucker list of possibilities not over expectations and not set in concrete. My dear friend Valerie (not longer with us) used to pin on her fridge her aims and possibilities for the year ahead which we always joked about. However, after yesterday and my fiancée mentioning that we should do a list I have decided to start our own. The list will consist of things we hope to buy, things we hope to do, improvements we hope to complete and personal well-being.

First job on the list completed and after clearing out the cupboard I am going to utilise the container that I found with loose change in it and commence the second item on the list and that is to add to this container after each day with any loose change in my purse.

So I forego tradition resolution and opt for stealing Valerie’s idea and do a year of possibilities. Oh and another item to be added will be a Wedding date and a theme so as my pinterest doesn’t look like I am having a breakdown of ideas

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Inspiration is required

After a little more thought I have decided to commence the instagram 365 happy days photo challenge but not sure I will have enough inspiration to take a picture every day to meet 365 days. 2 down and these are the first. The first one shows my darling cat assisting with the Xmas clean up (no help just a bloody little toe rag) and the next is his toy discarded for sleep.

So as I go on with this challenge I hope to gain inspiration from the people around me and hope to offer some light-hearted scenes of happiness or what at that moment in time gave me a smile.

I aim to gain inspiration from the new places I will visit both work wise and personally. As I am going to be assessing in some new establishments I hope the new learners will give me my passion for training and teaching. Or if not then at least I hope my nurturing side will be awakened again. I am going to be completing 2 days at a children centre to talk to parents about care and what it means to work in care. If I can inspire one person to take on the challenge of working in care and who can offer a positive input in care then I will be happy. Or at least I will be able to share what values I have about care work.


I am already thinking about the photo for tomorrow the question is what will I be inspired by tomorrow?