Quality of Life (what does this mean)?

I was in the process of writing my blogs when a question from a conversation I had had with my mother that morning  crossed my mind.

That question was – Quality of life, what does it mean to people?

During the conversation with my mother we spoke about my fathers’ current health and his recovery after a recent bout of pneumonia, which then led to diagnosis of emphysema. I should add at this stage that he has also got Alzheimer’s.

Currently he is taking a medication for his Alzheimer’s, as well as steroids to help his lungs. This combination of medicine, my mother has explained to me, has made my father more awake, engaged in TV and films and less confused.

However, she is concerned that since today is the last day of his steroids, he will decline again and she will end up rushing back and forth to hospital.

So I said then maybe they should look at giving the steroids full time if he does go downhill; as quality of life is so important.

My family knows that my dad will deteriorate, and know what to expect. We will ensure that his choice are respected, and that we all love him as we always have.

Yet, whilst we must ensure that he has quality of life, we must never forget that my mother (his main carer) is entitled to her own quality of life.

Of course she is happy he seems much more aware and awake, but it has  impacted on  her ‘quiet time’ as she calls it. In the past she would assist dad to bed and then have time for herself to surf the net, embarrass us on Facebook and to watch ‘Hollyoaks’ but at the moment she isn’t having that. She confided in me that she was feeling Guilty about feeling Selfish for wanting her ‘quiet time’

But do you know what she isn’t selfish and she has every right to have a Quality of life also.

As a loving, and caring, carer, who looks after her Husband each and every hour, of each and everyday. She should not feel selfish, if her ‘quite time’ is disturbed.

It’s this  ‘quite time’ that enables her to recharge her batteries, have a bit of ‘Me Time’, and is vital for her own well being, health and mental health.

It is critically important that she is able to communicate her thoughts and feelings and not be judged, but instead be listened to and supported.

I believe quality of life is key to my dads and mums continued happiness. My mum will ensure my dads quality of life, my family must support and listen to my mother to make sure that she has her.

That support is vital to all carers in this world.

Don’t forget to care for the carer. Don’t let them silently blend into the background.

So in conclusion I feel quality of life to me is about:

• Maintaining identity: ‘See who I am!’
• Sharing decision-making: ‘Involve me!’
• Creating community: ‘Connect with me!’

For both the person who is being cared for and the carer

Let me know what you think? Share your understanding please.

Maxine

 

 

 

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Colours and sounds of a Care worker :)

Part 2 will be coming but just need to ensure I have something interesting to share.

Attention to Care

PART 1 (not sure there is a part 2)

It came into my head tonight that there must be a tail or two that care workers could tell us that will shed light on the fun it can be  to be a care. Yes its a serious job (I am well aware), but if like me there has been some funny/amusing/amazing/extraordinary experiences that within care then maybe we should share. It’s just a thought. Of cause no identifiable information that would break ‘data protection’ or ‘confidentiality’ but stories that may bring a wry smile to your face or did bring a rye smile maybe even a loud laugh.

My first day as a support worker (18 just left home) gave me a shock, having a lady ask me outright if I had a Fanny and the proceeded to say I have ‘see’. Oh and yes she showed me. How I managed…

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Attention to Care

So I have done it, I have commenced my own business called Attention to Care which is a Health and Social Care training company based in Cambridgeshire area.

I have a lovely website that is still in the process of being changed and altered, a face book page and business cards on the way (second time lucky as I missed the ‘n’ off).

So why?

Well I have worked within care for 28 years in some role whether support worker, manager or trainer/assessor I still see approaches that could potentially place people at risk. So I want to educate, value and nurture the carers/managers/employers to enable them to provide the ‘best’ service they can to vulnerable people. The way I know I can do that is deliver, bespoke and best quality training I possibly can.

Its been a while since I posted and a lot has happened, my father has been unwell and recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Emphysema. Which is rather a big deal and I am very aware that even though I deliver Dementia Training that I have to be just a daughter and sister when speaking to my family as I don’t want to be the one that has to inform them of everything as otherwise I believe it changes my relationship. Don’t think though that I don’t talk about it and support my family with information they need I just don’t speak like I am training.

This is a brief blog but will try to now get more completed and find resources to share on my blogs to try to support you carers out there.

Please check out my site and please share.

http://attentiontocare.co.uk/

Mother Day 

So this week has been one of those weeks that have caused stress and unrest within my world of work. I am freelance assessor within the care field and this weeks the company I freelance for may now need to change. It has implications as there is no guarantee the new company will want a freelance assessor so things are a little up in the air.

So what have a been doing to ensure work continues and I earn a living, well firstly I have kicked myself up the arse and pushed for my training to be fully completed with induction and moving and handling so I can go in to companies and train correct practice. I’ve been ensuring all my learners will be ok if I can not continue (I would be gutted). I have been organising the next couple of weeks to ensure I am on target and prepared to move forward.

Saturday I went to an open event at a new care home/nursing home where I chatted to some of the family and clients about why I value care and I loved it just promoting care and training. I met Gloria Hunniford (didn’t feel right to get a selfie).

Sunday arrives (Mother’s Day). My children as alway give me beautiful cards (daughter as always sorted the boys) and flowers. I then spent the day appreciating what I have the sun helped and my wonderful husband to be. Sat relaxing in the garden just chilling looking at our garden and realising how much work we have put in. It was so perfect, birds flitting in and out of the garden and the daffodils swaying in the breeze. The aroma of a roast dinner being cooked by my daughter and a glass of vino. I realised in that moment I am so lucky. I have children I am very proud of, a husband to be who loves me for me and a bright future ahead. Simplicity is sometimes best and as my man would say ‘simples’.

So the point to this was to try to get all to see that sometime ‘simples’ is enough and that if today you are missing your mum, whether due to them not being here anymore or if they are lost in the world of Dementia they will always be you mum, mummy, mother not your best friend your mum the one who either carried you or chose you, they are mums.

Mums come in all shapes and all sizes. They can be mothers, grandmother, aunts, sisters, friends or they can be Dads doing a mums role as well as their own. So please just take a moment to appreciate what you have, had or even what you are going to have.

Happy Mother’s Day one and all. But bigger then that don’t wait just for Mother’s Day to appreciate your ‘mother’ any day is ok to just say thank you.

What’s next, What can I do?

Attention to Care

Today I am sat at home, waiting  to do some one to one session with learners (working from home), had appointments booked in but sadly not one completed at the moment and its gone 12:00 (tick tock). However, I have had an interesting call about a new idea for a support site and I am now questioning what I want to do next.

Don’t get me wrong assessing in general is a good job and it fits with my life but like today, I have not had a session completed, sadly people not picking up the phone, no work to mark so in some sense it becomes hard to ensure someone’s learning journey is consistent and meaningful. Commitment sometimes is lacking or schedules change in care and people just don’t let me know.

So I am now sat here thinking (cogs turning, head full).

My ultimate goal was to go…

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What’s next, What can I do?

Today I am sat at home, waiting  to do some one to one session with learners (working from home), had appointments booked in but sadly not one completed at the moment and its gone 12:00 (tick tock). However, I have had an interesting call about a new idea for a support site and I am now questioning what I want to do next.

Don’t get me wrong assessing in general is a good job and it fits with my life but like today, I have not had a session completed, sadly people not picking up the phone, no work to mark so in some sense it becomes hard to ensure someone’s learning journey is consistent and meaningful. Commitment sometimes is lacking or schedules change in care and people just don’t let me know.

So I am now sat here thinking (cogs turning, head full).

My ultimate goal was to go into more training, motivational sessions to get people to buy into the care and how to be the best. I wanted to get a community talking about care but not sure how.

I see the best but some times not the so good (poor practice and care). I set up my Facebook page and this blog to try to get a community talking and sharing their stories but to be honest its not working. Have less then 100 likes on FB page which if you consider the amount of people in care that’s just nothing. Followers on word-press I have 21. Is this because I don’t use profanities, I do a blow by blow log of my day, is it because people just don’t talk about care or is it people in care just don’t have the time.

So where am I going wrong? What do I need to do?  Where do I go from here?

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Day 3 Halifax

SUSAN and GRUMPY

Train ride  to Leeds  began very stressful no parking spaces at station and as we did not no the town we had no idea where the nearest car park was, a very nice guy(railway worker, note to self get people’s names in future )  directed us to a car park near by and then made sure the ramp was available for us on the train.  Off we went on time , arrived in Leeds met by a nice guy with ramps (again no name shame on me) What a vibrant busy city Leeds is old and new blend together .The Black Prince  in City square is a welcome sight . Along walk along Boar Lane where in 1962 I had my first job hard to locate exactly which shop as all the shop fronts have changed. Onto the market another old beautiful building lots has been said of late about the…

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Good bye 2016. Hello 2017

Attention to Care

I am sure there are going to be a lot of these predictable new years posts but it has to be done and it has to be done well.

So here goes:

2016 what did you give to me.

January you gave me a graduate as my gorgeous daughter graduated from Derby University. A very proud moment.jan

February was a quiet month but still but I got to sea seals on the beach in Norfolk with my wonderful friend ‘Kinky’ or Kate if you need her real name.

March was a busy time just getting out and about and meeting up with friends.The mask picture was a game of pin the cucumber on the hunk (you had to be there).

April was all about the gardening and family time. The big garden was commenced and a pop to Lowerstoft to see mum and dad.

May the gardening became a massive…

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Good bye 2016. Hello 2017

I am sure there are going to be a lot of these predictable new years posts but it has to be done and it has to be done well.

So here goes:

2016 what did you give to me.

January you gave me a graduate as my gorgeous daughter graduated from Derby University. A very proud moment.jan

February was a quiet month but still but I got to sea seals on the beach in Norfolk with my wonderful friend ‘Kinky’ or Kate if you need her real name.

March was a busy time just getting out and about and meeting up with friends.The mask picture was a game of pin the cucumber on the hunk (you had to be there).

April was all about the gardening and family time. The big garden was commenced and a pop to Lowerstoft to see mum and dad.

May the gardening became a massive build or should I say demolition, poor Alan ended up on his back with me giggling. Love continued.

June was all about the queens birthday and a mission to try and get the community together which was not a great success but we had great time with the usual bunch of people.

July was about big weekend, time alone with Cameron in Norfolk, checking out the botanic gardens to see where we will have our wedding photos and then barbecue in the new look garden.

August was a trip to Scotland with some great friends who fell in love with the scenery. We had an amazing week,lucky with the weather and lovely place to stay. It was also the month when cucumbers and tomatoes grew beautifully.

September was a first for me going to my very first festival and then meeting Paddy of Emerdale. The parents visiting which was lovely and I got my heron photo. It was a good month. There was much sadness in September also which a number of my friends had to deal with and they dealt with their sadness with such dignity and strength.

October was a charity event time for breast cancer when planning it I was just thinking back at Valerie the real founder of the title to my blog but then how would I have known it would then be news that would be hard for all with my niece being diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a great night and every penny will count. I then had  a visit to bakewell with my lovely friend and her children.

November was a month where things were a little quieter but with a great night thrown in at Gin of the Rocks. Night at the museum and more gardening for Alan.

 

Now we come to December where we had the best time and the most fun just spending this month with family and friends. So no we have got to 31/12/16 a little poorly so no going out but what I do have is 2017 to look forward to and I can’t wait.

Good bye 2016 and welcome with bells on 2017. We have a wedding, more babies due and people to fight hard to ensure they get well. So positive vibes required and celebrations to be focused on.

Happiness, Health and Love I wish all.

Its who you bump into sometimes!

Going to the training tomorrow to try out new approaches to single person care. I have a very open mind 😊😊😊

Attention to Care

Well its been a month and a half since I gave up college assessing (it just wasn’t for me), Even though still feel somewhat nervous and anxious, I am now starting to feel motivated. Yes motivated and its not bad. Yes my little monster in my ear still tries to bring me back into a less motivated space or tries to pass on the CBA function. I AM NOT LISTENING!!!!

Anyway I digress… well yes motivation is back and that was helped when I bumped into a manager of one of the very first domiciliary care agencies I assessed in. Well it was a quick catch up (gossip). However, after the brief catch up we went on to talk about care and the impact of double up rounds on the ‘purse strings’. Now we all know cuts are happening (disgraceful cuts) but there is nothing we can do so we…

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