Grumpy’s Donation to Science (and cremation)

If you have read my blog or visited my attention to care group on facebook then you will have heard me talk about Grumpy (my Dad). Grumpy died from Alzheimer’s 3rd April 2019 it was a short journey for us from diagnosis to Grumpy dying. Grumpy and my mother had both made arrangements to have their bodies donated to science rather then a large funeral. They had both signed up for donation and we were all informed of this by them both. I was sceptical I have to admit, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it but now I can tell you I could not be prouder or more amazed at the process.

Mum and I spent the 4th APRIL phoning to see if the local body repository could take dad, do remember it’s not as easy as signing a bit of paper.  Once the person has died you need to check which university hospital has room (you are normally signed up to your local one)  or check if the have restrictions (because some will not take people of a certain size or if the died of an infectious disease). Mum called all around the country and eventually Nottingham university hospital (The National Repository Centre, based at City Hospital) agreed to take Grumpy. They organised the transport (there was a cost for us) and then took him on his journey to help within medical research. We had been informed that he could be with them for 2 years and so we were prepared for the wait but we had been reassured that we would be invited to a cremation ceremony.

We decided to do a little get together for family and friends to remember Grumpy which was lovely. However, I think there was still an element of a feeling things have not been completed and I suppose there was an element of when may they call to say they are doing the cremation ceremony. Not that I am saying this is a bad thing but I think you have to be prepared to feel that regarding a loved one and not to hide that feeling (which I believe we did).

After having Grumpy for 5 months mum got the call to say they are ready to have the ceremony and invited us to attend (people had mentioned it would not be personal or that there would be more then one family in the same ceremony). Sadly not everyone could attend but some of us could and I am very grateful that I was able to be there. We had the cremation on 3rd September 2019 at 9:30 at Gedling Crematorium it was the most beautiful setting. 69939097_563219157755524_8512856593509908480_n

We arrived as Grumpy was been taken in and we were able to give the sunflowers and roses we had prepared with all our names on to be with him and my sister Joanna wrote him a note which the lovely funeral director placed on the coffin. It was very emotional but I can honestly say it was so personal, kind, thought provoking and comforting service I have ever been to. There was not an overly formal feeling Bernard the funeral director informed us that him and his team have  been the ones driving Grumpy around to each of the hospitals. He reminded us of what a help grumpy will have been to mankind for selflessly allowing scientific research and young doctors learn from his death. We were able to choose the songs that played as we walked in and while we sat in the room and as we walked out. We were allowed time to go to the coffin and place our hands and say both hello and some of us said our goodbyes. Bernard did a beautiful ceremony and I was able to get up and do a speech about Grumpy. I have to say Nottinghamshire funeral services did us proud. I can not thank them

It was honestly beautiful and I will now be looking into this process myself. I am thankful that we have been lucky enough to have this moment and even though we still have one final trip with Grumpy to the Angel of The North it was a much needed time.

The point to this blog is to just say have a look at donating if you want, I have checked out the site and there is so much that they tell you so you know what will happen. I am so proud for what this service has done and as a family we thank you. We are grateful for what Grumpy stands for.

As I said the other day ‘grumpy was a giant of a man’ he was our grumpy and we will miss him’. We know he is waiting somewhere and we know he is telling us ‘before you come here you must have squeezed every ounce of laughter and joy from your life’.

We will aim to do just that. 69556012_679307149235639_869669833069821952_n

 

Advertisements

What gets people to read?

What gets people to read is my question today?

I am thinking of what makes me read something and I am struggling to know what. Here are some of what gets me to read:

  • the intrigue that gets me looking further, the expectation that it’s going to be a SURPRISE!
  • the title that gives me a question to be answered and only can be answered if I continue to read.
  • the expectation of what something is going teach me
  • the fear if I don’t read I will miss out on something that can help me
  • the assumption that I know what something is going to include so I make an informed choice
  • the lack of understanding of a title so it’s a MUST read to see if it’s really what it says on the tin (title)
  • I also like a title that may hold a conspiracy theory
  • lastly I choose if I think I may have an opinion of the topic, if it’s near to my passion.

These are some of the reasons I read certain things and not others. What are your reasons you read articles, posts, tweets or books?

 

Innovation and Social care :( :)

Innovation is a great thing it really is and I am all for change and progression. On reading a few months ago about the Alexa assisting within loneliness for people who are in care homes or home care I was sceptical in the idea that is was going to relieve pressure on carers. I was sceptical as the outreaching idea had made suggestions that it was going to be doing task carer do and so less time to be with the person, this is where I then get very frustrated about as replacing human contact will never be the best thing to do ever. It may alleviate loneliness in the sense when the carers are not there that it can be set to read or play music but not instead of carers please.  It could also mean that the individual could raise the alarm if they fall if they are able to. Or to call if there is a potential intruder, also, if get a camera and an Alexa show then they can see who is at the door. So there are uses but not to replace care. I know personally that actually the Alexa has been a great thing for my mum. I got her an Alexa show and she loves it and it has really given her something to do but also, she can call me on it and she can carry on doing things as she chats and she has. I believe it great for her as a carer for her husband.

Then this morning I read an article about a robot being heard in parliament and the article stated ‘robot to care for nations elderly population’. I understand cuts and innovation but come on please again social care is been undervalued and stating in some sense (I know not fully) that a robot can replace a human to care for people. It doesn’t just talk about loneliness it talks about caring. It got me thinking about the people that are most vulnerable that require carers/support workers etc, some of the people we are talking about have, dementia, mental health problems which means sometimes they are hallucinating which can you imagine having a robot around your home when you are in a crisis with your mental health conditions. How scary. It mentions care homes, well most care homes will have people with Dementia and I am sorry but if you work in care you know how residents can react when they don’t recognise a human or when they have a piece of equipment brought to them.

I am frustrated I really am and that’s because we are looking at cheapest option (I know money is tight) and already politicians, society do not value the work social care does and here we are lets use robots. If we are doing this in social care then why not replace teachers, doctors receptionists or hospital porters with robots? Why not replace other frontline staff? Lets not just focus on care work and the social care industry. I am sure someone will say they are not but to me this is what it feels like. Innovation is great and I am still interested in reading more and seeing what more of the ideas they have but remember people first always.

Please feel free to debate.