How’s it been?

It’s a question I ask without not quite knowing the answer. Christmas came and went and now we approach the dawning of a new year. But how has 2017 been.

Well it’s had lots of rollercoaster moments which have tested my strength and other people’s strength. In the world at present things are just confusing and challenging. Not that I am going to get into politics but some decisions have been astounding and damn right wrong.

Personally I have gone through an array of emotions but I value everyone one of them as it’s me, it’s what makes me me. My family have had some trying time with my fathers health and the worry that brings, a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and continuing health issues.

Then I big high occurred I got married to a wonderful man, had the most magical day and shared it with so many people. So as you can see the extreme of emotions have been vast.

There was so much more to this year, a new baby entered our family, we have a survivor of breast cancer in our family.

We have shared many laughs and lots of tears some tears have been happy, some have been with worry. What this year gave to all of us was more strength as we all got through it we have all grown knowing that futures can be unpredictable but if we join hands and go into the future together strong then we can overcome the rollercoaster of emotions. As when one falters another can pick us up or can take the reigns for a while. It’s not all about dealing with things alone it’s about knowing when you need help.

So I will now look at 2018 and focus of growing attention to care  I will look at the future and ensure I spend time appreciating things and time. So please look at our 2017 with a few days to go. I appreciate every person whether in these photos or not. There are people here that I see less but value so much. Just please enjoy the rogues gallery.

 

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Why oh bloody why

Come on let’s bloody stop this. Why oh why are we allowing our most precious/vulnerable people to be placed in poor care homes. For those amazing carers (there will be some in these homes) that work in these homes that lights are flickering please speak up and stand tall and try to use your kindness elsewhere or to help make these homes better. CQC and the councils use these good carers to make the difference. Sort out the management and the owners make them stand up and explain publicly as to why they are failing! Make them explain. Why are they not in public at a public meeting telling us their reason. why they are failing. How can we accept failing homes.

My anger is justified as these care homes can access funding and support. Yes there are cuts but there are ways of not affecting care there really is. We are suppose to care for our most vulnerable, bloody hell lets get it right. Come on society please value care, the government stop cutting things for the most vulnerable.

 

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Resolutions!! WHY and WHAT FOR

Why do people make resolutions what are they for? Is it to make them feel they have a plan of action or is it to make the world a better place?

I am always baffled by the making of a new years resolutions as surely when you break them you feel like you failed and this will surely do the opposite of what a resolution is made for.

As I see it instead of a resolution write a bucker list of possibilities not over expectations and not set in concrete. My dear friend Valerie (not longer with us) used to pin on her fridge her aims and possibilities for the year ahead which we always joked about. However, after yesterday and my fiancée mentioning that we should do a list I have decided to start our own. The list will consist of things we hope to buy, things we hope to do, improvements we hope to complete and personal well-being.

First job on the list completed and after clearing out the cupboard I am going to utilise the container that I found with loose change in it and commence the second item on the list and that is to add to this container after each day with any loose change in my purse.

So I forego tradition resolution and opt for stealing Valerie’s idea and do a year of possibilities. Oh and another item to be added will be a Wedding date and a theme so as my pinterest doesn’t look like I am having a breakdown of ideas

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Take a moment to appreciate Autumn x

Well its Autumn here and I love the colours you find when walking. Love the warmth feeling it makes you feel even if its a chilly day. Its just a lovely season. Everyone should take a moment to take a wander through the leaves that have fallen from the trees, Hearing the crisps leaves beneath your feet. Take a look at the colours and the patterns mapped out on the leaves, look up to see the leaves hanging on to the tree or as they fall watch them glide to the ground. Just take a moment. The news can be dark and miserable, with politicians making decisions that affect so many and I know this will not fix things but for a moment you will see beauty and it may just give you a smile for a while.  P1120230 P1120174P1120169P1120123 P1120120 P1120356P1120205 P1120193 P1120185 P1120407 P1120410 P1120344 P1120231

Professor Winston is really all that.

Wow! what a great day today I have had at work, well not exactly at work, at a conference with an amazing guest Professor Winston. He was simply brilliant, inspiring and just simply engaging. What he had to say about health care was spot on and that there is a way to go to get it right and we can not really plan to what will happen. Yes people are living longer and therefore more care is going to be required. One of the most heart wrenching but comforting things he shared was that there is proof that someone who maybe in a coma or lost due to another condition can seemingly hear you. So those words you say have to be caring, loving, nurturing and encouraging when talking to someone who is silent.

So as I see it, time is now to get care right, to improve care for all, to nurture potential that is out there and value the people who are caring and supporting our most very vulnerable people (our loved ones). Yes! I hear the cry there are many carers who do an amazing job but why are you not telling people about it and sharing these good news stories. The requirements need to be changed to not have people just relevantly trained we need people properly trained, from 16 onwards to provide care. Soft skills (how to communicate, how to work as team and what values are) are just as important as knowing how to administer medication for one example. I am not saying you need a degree but I am saying you need some formal training to support people. You need to show you can support someone in a way they want to be cared for or supported. Lets hear peoples needs and lets observe what they want.

The other day I wrote a poem but after today I changed it. I hope it resonates with people (I am not a poet or writer so please bare with).

Please see me

When you look at me

What do you see?

When you talk to me

What do you hear?

Can you see me?

Can you hear me?

All I ask is,

See me

Hear me

Don’t ignore me

Know that what you say I can hear

I maybe silent but I am here.

I am not who I was

I am not who I thought I was

I am lost

I am hidden

So I ask you

Please look at me

Please see me

Please talk to me

I wish I could answer.

Please listen hard

Please seek me out, I am here.

Please see past my silence

See past the shell

See me for who I was and not just who I am now.

Care and what does is mean?

Care Definition:

The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something:the care of the elderly, the child is in the care of her grandparents healthcare

 

For me care is about enabling, supporting, reassuring and protecting people. I know there are lots of amazing carers out there who do a tireless job (some not even seeing it as a job).

My mother cares for my father she puts all her energy and love into ensuring they have a good life together enabling and supporting him to enjoy every aspect of life by making their time together full of experiences.She values every moment she has and never ever looks back.

I have 2 friends who care for their boys who have difficulties and do it with warm hearts and open minds, not expecting the world to see them  but I see them both, their time is filled with caring for these boys who need their full attention but never do they regret being there for them or regret having them just as they are.

Me well my job was to care, within the care sector supporting individuals with Learning disabilities to fulfil what they needed or wanted within their lives, not always positive moments (at times a little shocking) but mainly moments that will stay with me, moments of achievement and rewards, moments of sadness and joy, moments that would make your hair curl but never ever did I regret my choice of career. I actually used to love my job even though it was full on and there was a lot of battles that I tried to fight on their behalf (some we won as a team).  What I worry about is that now in the job I do I don’t see many people who have the same ethos or compassion about supporting people out there who are vulnerable, yes there are some who are out there who love their job and doing amazingly but surely this should not be a few it should be most.

So I ask you what is care to you and how can we nurture new carers to give the BEST they can to people who need our BEST. Is it about qualification as I don’t think it is.

 

It was a real DAY OFF! :)

Well for a number of years my day off would consist of working to catch up but today I actually had a day off.  I relaxed in bed until after 9 am (this does not happen often), I got up watched TV, which included the Great British Bake off. Listened to smooth radio whilst relaxed in the bath (no longer a gorilla 🙂 ). Went for a walk along the riverside and enjoyed my hobby of photography. Then back home to yet again to relax and listen to music. Days off are great when you actually don’t work. So a word to all you people who worry about targets, deadlines and getting behind, just stop and enjoy the day, take a moment to do your hobby or interest or just stay in bed.

Value the DAY OFF!P1110473 (2) P1110485 (2) P1110492 (2) P1110493 (2) P1110496 (2)

Mum just for you. :)

My mother

My mother!

Who is she?

My mother

What does she do?

Well my mother is simply,

a brave woman.

My mother, is simply,

the person who taught us to love,

to laugh,

to cry.

My mother simply

allowed us to be us,

to be accepting,

to forgive

to hope and see a future.

My mother is simply

A mum, mummy, mother, grandma, great grandma

She is just simply

MY MUM brave, determined and an inspiration.

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Back to the basics of Talking about care

Care is not a cool subject to discuss it seems, in the public eye or in their ears as they seem to just hear about the poor care that goes on out there. I am aware that some care homes are not up to standards and some employers have a lot to learn but the on the ground level carers who chose to do this job are being devalued.

We have to see social care as important as clinical care. Just because the care workers or carers may not have a degree or doctorate or a nursing qualification does not mean they are less important or valuable. Until the government value the work people do care will always have bad press or be seen as a job people fall into (I remember someone saying anyone can do OMG no not true) . I get that people think its a job that fits please do not go into care work because it just fits. We need compassion, passion, confidence, nurturing and empathy attributes to enable the people that are vulnerable to be supported in everyday life, whether that is at the start of life or and the end of life.

I have had the honour of supporting people within care, some at the start of finding their independence and others at the most vulnerable times of their life’s. I look back and some of the things we changed over the years to ensure the people we supported had a voice is remarkable and I believe continues in many care providers (we just don’t sing our own praises).

Many of these carers, care workers are getting minimum pay to care for all our loved ones or to care for us in the future. I ask you what price can be put on that. There has to be some sliding scale and in care there must be a different minimum wage surely.

I have just seen a post on another site I am a member of and its made me think about the lonely world at time when you are caring for a family member and how isolating it can be. I hope this lady does not mind but she noted in her post that she felt invisible within her life and that she is ‘just a carer’. I would like to say ‘just a carer’ is really not a title I like, the just bit is an injustice and I am telling you out there that anyone who is a carer the word just should never be used ahead of the word. You are a carer which I would title as a very important person who enables, encourages, guides, supports, loves, cares, fights, communicates and stands out in a crowd for the person you care for. A lot of the time you are selfless and forget about you so I am telling you in a very nice tone, we do not forget you, we see you and we hear you. Never ever feel isolated or invisible as we are grateful for the work you tirelessly do and at times it must be terrifying of what your day will bring but all I can say is hold on to your strength that you most certainly have and remember you will get through this and there will be the light and the hope.

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Poem of loss and allow your grieve to come out.

Hold tight let the tears flow

Your loss will hurt

The pain will grip you

Allow yourself to feel

Hold tight let the tears flow.

Think of the joy they brought

Think of the hope they showed you

Hold tight let the tears flow.

Think of the memories

Think of the pictures you have stored in you mind

Think of that smile, that belly giggle

Hold tight let the tears flow.

Think of the past

Think of the future

Hold tight let the tears flow.

Remember the love so that it will never be forgotten

Remember the hope and the kindness

Remember the unique person who was lost.

Open your eyes

See the stars

The brightest one will be yours

You will find the strength to help you on this long journey

Hold tight let the tears fade away.