“OUR MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER”

3FBD670A-D848-4029-A4E9-9C89D529F51DIf people have read some of my blogs in recent times you will know my Mother is the carer for my father who has many health conditions including a recent diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. Last night at 9pm he showed signs of being unwell and needed some medical attention. My mother is 70 years old and she wakes every day at 5:30am – sometimes even after not having a good night sleep. Since the diagnosis, dad can get unsettled and have some obsessions.

After making the first call at 9am it took until 2am for medical attention to arrive at their home (not a complaint as it was a busy night for the services), so by time dad was taken in and settled they did not leave the hospital until 6am. As you’ve probably realised, this is over 24 hours since my mother woke up – over 24 hours without sleep, for a 70 year old. She never once complained once though, she just got on with it and took it all in her stride – because that’s who she is.

My mother (who at this point had my sister, Joanna with her) had been awake over 24 hours. So as I write this I am hoping she is sleeping and hope that my dad is being looked after well by any nurses or doctors. We have as usual all come together to support and make sure she has someone with her and we are thankful for the family we have.

My mother will wake and just continue.

She is a carer, but, ultimately, she is a wife who loves her husband and who wants him to be safe, well and have a meaningful life – a meaningful life with her. So she finds the strength to carry on being the best carer that she is, every single day.

So, from all us groupies and all the others in our mad, slightly odd and special family, we appreciate you and what you do mum. We love you and thank you for showing us what love is and how we should care and love through adversity.

I would personally like to thank Joanna for staying with you and making sure you drove ok (terrible back seat driver).

So today, anyone out there who is a carer of a loved one, know that we are grateful, we value your courage and strength. We know you won’t ask for help but know the help is there. Know that we see your tiredness and hear your weariness. We know its bloody hard, it’s frustrating and sometimes it’s like being in a nightmare. We know you do this because you love and you feel you must to do what is best for yur family – you need to know your loved one is safe and cared for after all.

You do what you do so well that we are all in awe of you. We all hope that we will grow in our own strength. We know you are the role model. If we could, we would bottle who you are, so we could share it around to all who are vulnerable so everyone gets equal quality care. You are who should be training our carers of today, you are the training material we need. YOU ARE THE REALITY OF CARE AND CARING.

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Time to have a walk and go back to taking photos

Hello Sunday

Pleased to have been and enjoyed a walk aroung Anglesey Abbey, loving the colours that are still vibrant and some surprising flowers still hanging in there but also some that are just sprouting. Loved the walk still no closer to a decision on the blog but some lovely chances to take a few photos.

Hope you enjoy browsing.

Good bye 2016. Hello 2017

I am sure there are going to be a lot of these predictable new years posts but it has to be done and it has to be done well.

So here goes:

2016 what did you give to me.

January you gave me a graduate as my gorgeous daughter graduated from Derby University. A very proud moment.jan

February was a quiet month but still but I got to sea seals on the beach in Norfolk with my wonderful friend ‘Kinky’ or Kate if you need her real name.

March was a busy time just getting out and about and meeting up with friends.The mask picture was a game of pin the cucumber on the hunk (you had to be there).

April was all about the gardening and family time. The big garden was commenced and a pop to Lowerstoft to see mum and dad.

May the gardening became a massive build or should I say demolition, poor Alan ended up on his back with me giggling. Love continued.

June was all about the queens birthday and a mission to try and get the community together which was not a great success but we had great time with the usual bunch of people.

July was about big weekend, time alone with Cameron in Norfolk, checking out the botanic gardens to see where we will have our wedding photos and then barbecue in the new look garden.

August was a trip to Scotland with some great friends who fell in love with the scenery. We had an amazing week,lucky with the weather and lovely place to stay. It was also the month when cucumbers and tomatoes grew beautifully.

September was a first for me going to my very first festival and then meeting Paddy of Emerdale. The parents visiting which was lovely and I got my heron photo. It was a good month. There was much sadness in September also which a number of my friends had to deal with and they dealt with their sadness with such dignity and strength.

October was a charity event time for breast cancer when planning it I was just thinking back at Valerie the real founder of the title to my blog but then how would I have known it would then be news that would be hard for all with my niece being diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a great night and every penny will count. I then had  a visit to bakewell with my lovely friend and her children.

November was a month where things were a little quieter but with a great night thrown in at Gin of the Rocks. Night at the museum and more gardening for Alan.

 

Now we come to December where we had the best time and the most fun just spending this month with family and friends. So no we have got to 31/12/16 a little poorly so no going out but what I do have is 2017 to look forward to and I can’t wait.

Good bye 2016 and welcome with bells on 2017. We have a wedding, more babies due and people to fight hard to ensure they get well. So positive vibes required and celebrations to be focused on.

Happiness, Health and Love I wish all.

Colours and sounds of a Care worker :)

PART 1 (not sure there is a part 2)

It came into my head tonight that there must be a tail or two that care workers could tell us that will shed light on the fun it can be  to be a care. Yes its a serious job (I am well aware), but if like me there has been some funny/amusing/amazing/extraordinary experiences that within care then maybe we should share. It’s just a thought. Of cause no identifiable information that would break ‘data protection’ or ‘confidentiality’ but stories that may bring a wry smile to your face or did bring a rye smile maybe even a loud laugh.

My first day as a support worker (18 just left home) gave me a shock, having a lady ask me outright if I had a Fanny and the proceeded to say I have ‘see’. Oh and yes she showed me. How I managed to be brave enough to stay I do not know but I did. It still brings a wry smile to me face when I think of her that first moment. Not long after this i was told I would need to practice ducking and I just laughed at that comment not understanding the real implications unit, a glass and a table came across the room then I realised ducking was a skill I mastered very quickly. I found myself drawn to the services users who everyone seemed to want to avoid as they were deemed as ‘challenging’ and they were but finding out about the person and learning the triggers and reasons behind the frustration helped enormously.  So I would watch and observe and move very quickly when another support worker went in feet first with no thought for the persons feelings. They soon learnt to duck. Sadly 28 years ago there was not that much straining or clear understanding. However, I now enjoy being able to share my knowledge in supporting positive behaviours.

If you could see care in colour then below is what it would be, unique, bright and sometimes explosive. It’s all the colours of  the rainbow and more.

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If you heard it in a sound then it would be all the chords, notes you can think of going of at once.

sound

So what I ask is that you focus on these stories of joy, amusement, uniqueness and inclusion and share them with respect. Remember on the harder days it’s going to be a better day soon. Think of the colours, think of the sounds and then remember your going home you are just there for a moment in some of the people’s lives so make that moment mean something. Make that time be colourful, make the smile as bright as you can and focus on what matters.

Please feel free to share your stories, please feel free to ask advice and feel free to be unique. YOU ALL MATTER 🙂

Care or Fits?

Its a funny as a person who worked in care generally all my adult life and now work as an assessor/trainer in Health and Social Care, I sometimes think where is the care. Its strange but there are people that are working within care because ‘it fits’. Is this really the reason we want people looking after our loved ones, for me I am not sure.

I’ve questioned this before and as much I don’t want people to choose working in care for this reason solely it is a reason and justified ‘fits’ means ‘of a suitable quality, standard, or type to meet the required purpose’ so actually not a bad definition. We all have life’s and we all have people we may have to take responsibility for and working in an industry that can allow us to be flexible surely is an OK reason to work in care. Its more suitable or acceptable to use the above words of I work in care to care for people. Its sounds all rose coloured and pretty don’t you think?

Now this is where I want to bring in Care and the meaning of care ‘he provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something’ so in actual fact not massively far removed from ‘fits’. I can get by thinking when someone says fits are they thinking of quality (see definition) surely they are! Also ‘required purpose’ which could be to deliver best practice care.

Sadly and here I go fits is just not for me. When I interview someone please don’t tell me you reason for applying is to say it fits with childcare and that’s your reason. I know its important but surely the reason should be about the practice of care. I meet carers within my job and at present I have to say I am lucky to have a great group of Learners who yes need it to ‘fit’ but through that I can see they are choosing ‘care’ to provide a service that is of quality.

So please think of your reason for going into the care industry, public opinion maybe that its ‘wiping and cleaning people’ but I promise you its so much more. Yes it can ‘fit’ but its so much more then that, it should be an honour to provide support to someone who can’t or struggles to complete everyday task. Its about well being, its about people, its about progress, rehabilitation, its about end of life. So please think long and hard before choosing care as a career. Please don’t choose it just because you can.care-young-and-old

Time and committment

What can I say I’ve neglected my blog, just seems less time to think and write. However, have been to Scotland and then to my very first festival. Also lots of work in the garden at weekends but clearly not in my 20’s or even 30’s for that matter as I ache.

So Scotland was amazing, beautiful as always I love it. One day we will be moving to Scotland but for now its enough to visit just wish time would allow us more visits.

The festival not even sure what to say, I last 45 years not going to a festival and then I went. Well it was great fun but camping is not for me. Embrace were fabulous and it was a nice surprise meeting the stars of Emmerdale. Paddy we loved him.

Then the gardening well lets just say we have done wonders and we still have more to do, lots of trips to the tip.

Save the dates have nearly all gone out. Wedding 2017!

Now to work well Assessing is good, my contact with some lovely learners make it easier to do my job. As usual paperwork and politics always have a negative baring on how much you enjoy your role. Still for me if I can impart one piece of information to enable someone to do their job better and then ultimately the care should be better.

No I am going to set myself a task that by the end of the year I will have completed a well being week. I want to do this and was suppose to do it in August but time and other commitments placed it on a back burner. What I ask myself is why did I not find the time? I placed well-being second and I need to address the balance.

So I will do and I will ask for stories to be shared regarding well being and mental health. Trying to lift the darkness on being able to talk about suicide is my aim.

So until then hope all are well and those carers out there are keeping themselves well.

Love long love strong and hold tight things sometimes will seem unbearable but please talk, chat, open up, share and most of all if your a person who is been told ‘LISTEN’

Story of a Care worker

Care is amazing but hard please value the ones who do the job.

Over the years I have met so many care workers so great, exceptional, amazing, passionate, driven to provide the best of care and then the ones that are not all of the previous comments. Carers from all over the world who are committed to supporting our most vulnerable, yes I am not blinkered to the poor care out there but its getting better and we are more vocal at the poor care now.

So many experiences I have been lucky to have had,  from supporting independence to enabling someone to die at home with their loved ones. Every moment just as important as another.

I have been through the saddest of time and then the times that has been utter joy. Each experience has left a mark on me and has made me who I am today when I go and do assessing/training for people who work in care. I focus on my learning through experience and try to impart some experience on others. I am always passionate   about care because this is one of the most important industry you could work in.

I think back at times and remember by first day of walking into a Big House in the Village of Milton in Cambridge (Edmund House), it was an old building which would be classed as an institute but Mencap were working hard to alter the care/support for people. I came at a time that I was able to be part of that. Watching the development of a more independent and inclusive provision. I was 18 just finished college in Scunthorpe and thrown headlong into the world of care. IT WAS A MASSIVE LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE!!!

I have met along the way people who have made an impact on me some for the good and some for the wrong reasons. However, I love the care world, I have faith in the care world, regardless of society not respecting or noticing the hard work carers do. We pay the minimum wage to the people who are caring for our most vulnerable but they do it in spite of that.

I want to continue to try to value and get others to value care and therefore I may change my page to something more inclusive. I have not been able to have the impact I wanted and now it back to the drawing board to think about how I get care out there as a positive. I want a community who are not afraid to share their stories and to share the advice so time for change I think.

Care needs a voice and I may try to get it one.

So please come on and pull up a chair and talk about care. Talk about everything you want to. Open the can and lets not place the lid back on lets just share our experiences and stories that will make people smile and see the positives.

Scary times being OUT and as a definite IN I worry for care, training and all the people who care regardless of what country you are from you do a vital job.

Take this as a bloody big thank you from me. pooh

Simplicity of life🌧☔️💞💞

Tonight after feeling a little frustrated and low. I had a simplicistic moment that reminded me of being thankful and happy with what my life has become now. Sat in bed and the rain began to pour down. Watching the rain drops and listening to the rain whilst laid next to the man I love.

It was a gentle moment which initially I didn’t appreciate until Alan mentioned going out and sitting in the rain in the dark (something new for me) ☔️☔️☔️☔️☔️. So wrapped up in my dressing gown and Alan in his fleece we went outside. Alan prepared the brollie and we sat💞. Do you know what? It was lovely and very romantic. I sat, was held, kept close and dry by this man who has shown me how to look further and appreciate what is around me. The rain was lovely the droplets sliding down the brollie and the sound of pitter  patter. The dark sky’s just made you feel lost in a new world where we only existed just for that moment nothing mattered apart from that very moment. Lost in the sound but the imagination of being at loch Eck in the rain was beautiful. P1110133 (2)

Appreciating what I have is simple it’s not sweating the small stuff but looking at what’s there right there and right now.

Thank you for the new moment Alan you are my rock and remind me of the simple things in life.

Resolutions!! WHY and WHAT FOR

Why do people make resolutions what are they for? Is it to make them feel they have a plan of action or is it to make the world a better place?

I am always baffled by the making of a new years resolutions as surely when you break them you feel like you failed and this will surely do the opposite of what a resolution is made for.

As I see it instead of a resolution write a bucker list of possibilities not over expectations and not set in concrete. My dear friend Valerie (not longer with us) used to pin on her fridge her aims and possibilities for the year ahead which we always joked about. However, after yesterday and my fiancée mentioning that we should do a list I have decided to start our own. The list will consist of things we hope to buy, things we hope to do, improvements we hope to complete and personal well-being.

First job on the list completed and after clearing out the cupboard I am going to utilise the container that I found with loose change in it and commence the second item on the list and that is to add to this container after each day with any loose change in my purse.

So I forego tradition resolution and opt for stealing Valerie’s idea and do a year of possibilities. Oh and another item to be added will be a Wedding date and a theme so as my pinterest doesn’t look like I am having a breakdown of ideas

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Inspiration is required

After a little more thought I have decided to commence the instagram 365 happy days photo challenge but not sure I will have enough inspiration to take a picture every day to meet 365 days. 2 down and these are the first. The first one shows my darling cat assisting with the Xmas clean up (no help just a bloody little toe rag) and the next is his toy discarded for sleep.

So as I go on with this challenge I hope to gain inspiration from the people around me and hope to offer some light-hearted scenes of happiness or what at that moment in time gave me a smile.

I aim to gain inspiration from the new places I will visit both work wise and personally. As I am going to be assessing in some new establishments I hope the new learners will give me my passion for training and teaching. Or if not then at least I hope my nurturing side will be awakened again. I am going to be completing 2 days at a children centre to talk to parents about care and what it means to work in care. If I can inspire one person to take on the challenge of working in care and who can offer a positive input in care then I will be happy. Or at least I will be able to share what values I have about care work.

 

I am already thinking about the photo for tomorrow the question is what will I be inspired by tomorrow?