Pull up a chair and lets talk

I’m sat here on a bank holiday weekend feeling somewhat sorry for myself (have a bad back). I have gone through social media seen the usual posts that raise my blood pressure and seen the posts that make me smile and make me thoughtful. I have cleaned (a little), moaned at my husband (waiting to moan at the 14 year child who still sleeps). I have thought about doing some work (but I should be allowed a day off even if I am self employed). I have gone back to reading (Where Memories Go) and as I was reading it got me thinking (this would worry my husband as me thinking causes stress).

It got me thinking of when I thought I would write a book, I did commence ‘Pull up a Chair’ but can’t find it anywhere (feel sad about that). I am asking myself today if I should try and start again? Some of you will know ‘pull up a chair’ was a title my friend Valerie used to say and that it would be a no holes barred self help book but it would be blunt and no ‘oh woe be me’ type of self help. I adapted it to more of a about my life book which would obviously have Valerie within it. Over the past year things have changed in our family but I now question do I scrap it fully or do I try something new. I am not the most articulate in writing so not sure I could actually write a book.

However, today has me thinking as I sit here feeling sorry for myself. Valerie would not be happy she would give me a course in ‘get the f@ck over it’.

Blogging has become less of late I don’t really know how to make myself more visible. I still want to blog about care but not sure its the most fashionable subject or glamorous. However, I will keep trying.

Happy Sunday All and if feeling sorry for yourself then ‘Pull up a Chair’ and talk. cropped-etchings-and-roses-ivory-wallpaper_yellow-chair1.jpg

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Brainstorming can I do Alone? (just a quickie)

Brainstorming? Does it work?

Process for generating creative ideas and solutions through intensive discussion and processing information that is within your mind. Normally group participation but the question is can you then not do brainstorming alone?

Well I am Attention to Care at the moment it is just me and its my business that I am nurturing and trying to grow so its down to me and my mind to brainstorm. So I have been brainstorming (well that’s what I am calling it) I have encouraged myself to think aloud and suggest as many ideas as possible, no matter seemingly how outlandish or bizarre. Don’t get me wrong as I am doing alone there would be no challenges and disagreements but there is in my own thoughts. I am using the sticky note method laid on my mini desk just words and ideas including things to do. As you can see there are many things that need to be thought about. It got me thinking doing this and how others may generate their ideas if they are the business if it is just you.


Attention to Care is a business to train care staff at all levels and its about ensuring I meet the needs of each service in a unique way but what I need to do is get the name out there hence my brainstorming session all alone.

So to clarify this blog today is to try to find out what people do when they are in business alone to generate and analyse their ideas. Also, is Brainstorming only good as a group. Come on and tell me what you do please, I need inspiration and need to know how to get the ideas out and in a way that can be monitored.

 

 

 

“OUR MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER”

3FBD670A-D848-4029-A4E9-9C89D529F51DIf people have read some of my blogs in recent times you will know my Mother is the carer for my father who has many health conditions including a recent diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. Last night at 9pm he showed signs of being unwell and needed some medical attention. My mother is 70 years old and she wakes every day at 5:30am – sometimes even after not having a good night sleep. Since the diagnosis, dad can get unsettled and have some obsessions.

After making the first call at 9am it took until 2am for medical attention to arrive at their home (not a complaint as it was a busy night for the services), so by time dad was taken in and settled they did not leave the hospital until 6am. As you’ve probably realised, this is over 24 hours since my mother woke up – over 24 hours without sleep, for a 70 year old. She never once complained once though, she just got on with it and took it all in her stride – because that’s who she is.

My mother (who at this point had my sister, Joanna with her) had been awake over 24 hours. So as I write this I am hoping she is sleeping and hope that my dad is being looked after well by any nurses or doctors. We have as usual all come together to support and make sure she has someone with her and we are thankful for the family we have.

My mother will wake and just continue.

She is a carer, but, ultimately, she is a wife who loves her husband and who wants him to be safe, well and have a meaningful life – a meaningful life with her. So she finds the strength to carry on being the best carer that she is, every single day.

So, from all us groupies and all the others in our mad, slightly odd and special family, we appreciate you and what you do mum. We love you and thank you for showing us what love is and how we should care and love through adversity.

I would personally like to thank Joanna for staying with you and making sure you drove ok (terrible back seat driver).

So today, anyone out there who is a carer of a loved one, know that we are grateful, we value your courage and strength. We know you won’t ask for help but know the help is there. Know that we see your tiredness and hear your weariness. We know its bloody hard, it’s frustrating and sometimes it’s like being in a nightmare. We know you do this because you love and you feel you must to do what is best for yur family – you need to know your loved one is safe and cared for after all.

You do what you do so well that we are all in awe of you. We all hope that we will grow in our own strength. We know you are the role model. If we could, we would bottle who you are, so we could share it around to all who are vulnerable so everyone gets equal quality care. You are who should be training our carers of today, you are the training material we need. YOU ARE THE REALITY OF CARE AND CARING.

Grumpies Groupies (WHY OH WHY)

The name of a small family group which was set up to chat and keep each other informed regarding my father (AKA GRUMPY). My mother set up the group (she has become a great user of facebook sometimes embarrassingly) she though it would be good to be able to let us know to be aware when she needs a nap in the day and so the idea was to post things like bad night so phone silence. Or grumpy not great today, etc etc. So all about gumpy.

Well interestingly its sort of turned into a group of women discussing life, issue, concerns, comfort, love and honestly. Well sort of but in reality its got gossip, good news stories, current affairs, just basic bitching and offloading of being a parent at times for some. I should say but if of the sensitive nature you maybe offended with some of the language and discussions I am going to share with you.

Oh with some of the members they have learnt how to add GIF’s and the joy of that can be that a whole evening communication is just through the art of GIPH’s its a GIPH OFF.

 

So as the start:

So all in all not a bad start within a group know check how Grumpy is and check how Mum/Grandma is dealing with things and if we can be of morale support.

However, here is the opposite to what the start was:

Now I know the language and content is terrible and I can only appologies, I will be sharing more and they will make your hair curl but do you know what this is my mothers life line.

We were able to respond at the weekend quickly when mum posted a video on how Grumpy was so confused and unwell it meant that she got people round to help quickly and to support her to call for assistance and get medical attention for Grumpy.  So here is how it helps:

No Grumpy is home with a camera in his bedroom for mum to keep and eye on him. We managed to keep everyone informed and it worked.

So I will share more insights at a later date, but on a serious note, remember to check on each other support the person who has to support their loved one 24/7. Remember they need to be able to laugh through the hard times and realise life goes on even when thing are hard. Everyone one needs to be given a laugh and at the moment the Grumpy’s groupies are full on with the messages today to the point I am struggling to get my work done.

So enjoy the snippets as I say there are more and here are the ones from today:

My family support group we look after each other. Sort of

Attention to Care

So I have done it, I have commenced my own business called Attention to Care which is a Health and Social Care training company based in Cambridgeshire area.

I have a lovely website that is still in the process of being changed and altered, a face book page and business cards on the way (second time lucky as I missed the ‘n’ off).

So why?

Well I have worked within care for 28 years in some role whether support worker, manager or trainer/assessor I still see approaches that could potentially place people at risk. So I want to educate, value and nurture the carers/managers/employers to enable them to provide the ‘best’ service they can to vulnerable people. The way I know I can do that is deliver, bespoke and best quality training I possibly can.

Its been a while since I posted and a lot has happened, my father has been unwell and recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Emphysema. Which is rather a big deal and I am very aware that even though I deliver Dementia Training that I have to be just a daughter and sister when speaking to my family as I don’t want to be the one that has to inform them of everything as otherwise I believe it changes my relationship. Don’t think though that I don’t talk about it and support my family with information they need I just don’t speak like I am training.

This is a brief blog but will try to now get more completed and find resources to share on my blogs to try to support you carers out there.

Please check out my site and please share.

http://attentiontocare.co.uk/

Mother Day 

So this week has been one of those weeks that have caused stress and unrest within my world of work. I am freelance assessor within the care field and this weeks the company I freelance for may now need to change. It has implications as there is no guarantee the new company will want a freelance assessor so things are a little up in the air.

So what have a been doing to ensure work continues and I earn a living, well firstly I have kicked myself up the arse and pushed for my training to be fully completed with induction and moving and handling so I can go in to companies and train correct practice. I’ve been ensuring all my learners will be ok if I can not continue (I would be gutted). I have been organising the next couple of weeks to ensure I am on target and prepared to move forward.

Saturday I went to an open event at a new care home/nursing home where I chatted to some of the family and clients about why I value care and I loved it just promoting care and training. I met Gloria Hunniford (didn’t feel right to get a selfie).

Sunday arrives (Mother’s Day). My children as alway give me beautiful cards (daughter as always sorted the boys) and flowers. I then spent the day appreciating what I have the sun helped and my wonderful husband to be. Sat relaxing in the garden just chilling looking at our garden and realising how much work we have put in. It was so perfect, birds flitting in and out of the garden and the daffodils swaying in the breeze. The aroma of a roast dinner being cooked by my daughter and a glass of vino. I realised in that moment I am so lucky. I have children I am very proud of, a husband to be who loves me for me and a bright future ahead. Simplicity is sometimes best and as my man would say ‘simples’.

So the point to this was to try to get all to see that sometime ‘simples’ is enough and that if today you are missing your mum, whether due to them not being here anymore or if they are lost in the world of Dementia they will always be you mum, mummy, mother not your best friend your mum the one who either carried you or chose you, they are mums.

Mums come in all shapes and all sizes. They can be mothers, grandmother, aunts, sisters, friends or they can be Dads doing a mums role as well as their own. So please just take a moment to appreciate what you have, had or even what you are going to have.

Happy Mother’s Day one and all. But bigger then that don’t wait just for Mother’s Day to appreciate your ‘mother’ any day is ok to just say thank you.

Colours and sounds of a Care worker :)

PART 1 (not sure there is a part 2)

It came into my head tonight that there must be a tail or two that care workers could tell us that will shed light on the fun it can be to be a carer. Yes it’s a serious job (I am well aware), but if like me, there has been some funny/amusing/amazing/extraordinary experiences that within care then maybe we should share. It’s just a thought. Of course no identifiable information that would break ‘data protection’ or ‘confidentiality’ but stories that may bring a wry smile to your face or did bring a rye smile maybe even a loud laugh.

My first day as a support worker (18 just left home) gave me a shock, having a lady ask me outright if I had a Fanny and the proceeded to say I have ‘see’. Oh and yes she showed me. How I managed to be brave enough to stay I do not know but I did. It still brings a wry smile to me face when I think of her that first moment.

Not long after this I was told I would need to practice ducking and I just laughed at that comment not understanding the real implications until, a glass and a table came across the room then I realised ducking was a skill I mastered very quickly. I found myself drawn to the services users who everyone seemed to want to avoid as they were deemed as ‘challenging’ and they were but finding out about the person and learning the triggers and reasons behind the frustration helped enormously.  So I would watch and observe and move very quickly when another support worker went in feet first with no thought for the persons feelings. They soon learnt to duck. Sadly 28 years ago there was not  much training or clear understanding. However, I now enjoy being able to share my knowledge in supporting positive behaviours.

If you could see care in colour then below is what it would be, unique, bright and sometimes explosive. It’s all the colours of  the rainbow and more.

colour-splash-1

 

If you heard it in a sound then it would be all the chords, notes you can think of going of at once.

sound

So what I ask is that you focus on these stories of joy, amusement, uniqueness and inclusion and share them with respect. Remember on the harder days it’s going to be a better day soon. Think of the colours, think of the sounds and then remember your going home you are just there for a moment in some of the people’s lives so make that moment mean something. Make that time be colourful, make the smile as bright as you can and focus on what matters.

Please feel free to share your stories, please feel free to ask advice and feel free to be unique. YOU ALL MATTER 🙂

Care or Fits?

Its a funny as a person who worked in care generally all my adult life and now work as an assessor/trainer in Health and Social Care, I sometimes think where is the care. Its strange but there are people that are working within care because ‘it fits’. Is this really the reason we want people looking after our loved ones, for me I am not sure.

I’ve questioned this before and as much I don’t want people to choose working in care for this reason solely it is a reason and justified ‘fits’ means ‘of a suitable quality, standard, or type to meet the required purpose’ so actually not a bad definition. We all have life’s and we all have people we may have to take responsibility for and working in an industry that can allow us to be flexible surely is an OK reason to work in care. Its more suitable or acceptable to use the above words of I work in care to care for people. Its sounds all rose coloured and pretty don’t you think?

Now this is where I want to bring in Care and the meaning of care ‘he provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something’ so in actual fact not massively far removed from ‘fits’. I can get by thinking when someone says fits are they thinking of quality (see definition) surely they are! Also ‘required purpose’ which could be to deliver best practice care.

Sadly and here I go fits is just not for me. When I interview someone please don’t tell me you reason for applying is to say it fits with childcare and that’s your reason. I know its important but surely the reason should be about the practice of care. I meet carers within my job and at present I have to say I am lucky to have a great group of Learners who yes need it to ‘fit’ but through that I can see they are choosing ‘care’ to provide a service that is of quality.

So please think of your reason for going into the care industry, public opinion maybe that its ‘wiping and cleaning people’ but I promise you its so much more. Yes it can ‘fit’ but its so much more then that, it should be an honour to provide support to someone who can’t or struggles to complete everyday task. Its about well being, its about people, its about progress, rehabilitation, its about end of life. So please think long and hard before choosing care as a career. Please don’t choose it just because you can.care-young-and-old

Story of a Care worker

Care is amazing but hard please value the ones who do the job.

Over the years I have met so many care workers so great, exceptional, amazing, passionate, driven to provide the best of care and then the ones that are not all of the previous comments. Carers from all over the world who are committed to supporting our most vulnerable, yes I am not blinkered to the poor care out there but its getting better and we are more vocal at the poor care now.

So many experiences I have been lucky to have had,  from supporting independence to enabling someone to die at home with their loved ones. Every moment just as important as another.

I have been through the saddest of time and then the times that has been utter joy. Each experience has left a mark on me and has made me who I am today when I go and do assessing/training for people who work in care. I focus on my learning through experience and try to impart some experience on others. I am always passionate   about care because this is one of the most important industry you could work in.

I think back at times and remember by first day of walking into a Big House in the Village of Milton in Cambridge (Edmund House), it was an old building which would be classed as an institute but Mencap were working hard to alter the care/support for people. I came at a time that I was able to be part of that. Watching the development of a more independent and inclusive provision. I was 18 just finished college in Scunthorpe and thrown headlong into the world of care. IT WAS A MASSIVE LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE!!!

I have met along the way people who have made an impact on me some for the good and some for the wrong reasons. However, I love the care world, I have faith in the care world, regardless of society not respecting or noticing the hard work carers do. We pay the minimum wage to the people who are caring for our most vulnerable but they do it in spite of that.

I want to continue to try to value and get others to value care and therefore I may change my page to something more inclusive. I have not been able to have the impact I wanted and now it back to the drawing board to think about how I get care out there as a positive. I want a community who are not afraid to share their stories and to share the advice so time for change I think.

Care needs a voice and I may try to get it one.

So please come on and pull up a chair and talk about care. Talk about everything you want to. Open the can and lets not place the lid back on lets just share our experiences and stories that will make people smile and see the positives.

Scary times being OUT and as a definite IN I worry for care, training and all the people who care regardless of what country you are from you do a vital job.

Take this as a bloody big thank you from me. pooh

Its who you bump into sometimes!

Well its been a month and a half since I gave up college assessing (it just wasn’t for me), Even though still feel somewhat nervous and anxious, I am now starting to feel motivated. Yes motivated and its not bad. Yes my little monster in my ear still tries to bring me back into a less motivated space or tries to pass on the CBA function. I AM NOT LISTENING!!!!

Anyway I digress… well yes motivation is back and that was helped when I bumped into a manager of one of the very first domiciliary care agencies I assessed in. Well it was a quick catch up (gossip). However, after the brief catch up we went on to talk about care and the impact of double up rounds on the ‘purse strings’. Now we all know cuts are happening (disgraceful cuts) but there is nothing we can do so we have to be seen to still trying out very very best to meet the needs of each person. So double up rounds (2 carers) are being looked at to see if there are ways that one carer can do the same as 2 (calm down no need to shout). There are ways but this means equipment and I mean the very best equipment out there that cost money and that will be a big outlay to begin with however, in the end it would save money but also in some cases provide a better care experience. We need the care providers on board with this but so many see the £ signs for double up and do not want to budge. However, luckily I assess in one place that are open to looking at the change and to look at what this means to the people they support. Never, in any legislation does it state 2 carers must hoist yet care companies work on the proviso which is incorrect. What it does say is safe use, meeting the needs, assessing the risk and adapting to ensure correct equipment.

So come on lets look at this and lets see how it will help, so if your a person out their that is caring for the loved ones and they need hoisting work with the providers to look at the systems in place. If you a carer be open minded to listen and to try. For carers who are unpaid maybe the new pieces of equipment out there will be better. Please check out this research and also the equipment.

http://www.independentliving.co.uk/moving-handling-it-takes-two/

I am lucky enough now to be able to go to an awareness session to understand more about using equipment suitable for one carer to do. I am open minded regarding if it works and how it will benefit. I feel at times people are sat waiting for 2 carers to turn up (I witness this at one care company and it was very distressing to see a lady desperate to use the facilities and couldn’t as other carer hadn’t turned up). Also the amount of times I have had to tell people to not talk over a person to each other about their own bloody lives. So if this stops that then surely its worth a go. SAFELY, RESPECTFULLY and INCLUSIVELY .

Working together will help and will ensure the BEST OUTCOME BASED CARE

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